As salamu aleikum, Beautiful 🙂 One of the hardest things in life is to fall in love with yourself. Since the love gets eaten away by guilt, resentment, lack of pursuing your own achievements (whatever they are) and when you give up loving yourself, thus, ‘saving’ you the headache to figure out yourself. What are the 3 truths to falling in love with yourself?
First of all, let’s start with the signs that would suggest you do not love yourself either enough or at all:
- you think that everything is always your fault
- you think you are not good enough
- you could name a bazillion reasons why you are a failure or just unworthy
- you feel unworthy
- you are afraid to express your opinion (‘who cares’ or ‘no one will take me seriously’)
- you go along with whatever happens around and within you, never stop it, barely challenge it, even though you feel broken inside because of it
- you use destructive behaviour/s to cope with emotional pain (overeating, oversleeping, starving yourself, having anger attacks, ‘loosing’ it over anything and everything, neglecting yourself and those dependent on you)
If you can relate to any of the above, it might be very likely that you do not love yourself or just can’t push your self love to the last level, where you would feel comfortable.
Now, don’t freak out. Just the fact that you don’t love yourself enough means nothing and it is sooo fixable. I have done it for myself and for my clients too, alhamdulillah.
Just breathe in and out. It’s fine.
I can reassure you that many people that surround you do not love and accept themselves fully either. Even this jolly friend that makes any get together just THAT special. Not kidding here. Experience.
We are so used of ignoring our own needs, likes and dislikes, our own personal beliefs and our personal boundaries that we don’t see it anymore as even something useful to look into.
It’s just another line in your to-do list. Why bother, right? Even if you know that all the pain is eating away at you. Day by day. It’s up to you to put an end to it and you know it. Hold my hand, I feel your pain. No one can put in words what you are feeling. Breathe in deeply deeply and let the pain go. Today IS the day when the pain will go. From today you will no longer feel gut wrenching guilt. From today it won’t be ALWAYS your fault. From today you will look where you need to say ‘no’ and take baby steps to say it. Breathe in deep and sound. Today is the day.
Now let’s have a look at the 3 truths to falling in love with yourself. Brace yourself.
#1 Be honest
Just admit that not everything is perfect right now. Stop living ‘one-day-it-will-be-better’ land, where you still have to suffer through each day. If something is not working, say so. Do something that would help you break out of a vicious cycle. Do not let yourself sink into a delusion. You know you have been there, in this dark gloomy place, and for your own sake and sanity it’s better for you to learn how to be yourself and enjoy your own company.
#2 Take one step at a time
Do not expect that everything will change overnight and you will be the self loving opinionated confident gal that you imagined yourself being. Expecting overnight change = setting yourself for a failure. You WILL fail and you will get better at treasuring yourself. Take it a step at a time.
#3 Enjoy the change
Please, don’t roll your eyes. Change is good and exciting. There are so many things you didn’t allow yourself to discover within yourself that you would be surprised what an amazing person you are after you stop over judging yourself and just let yourself be. Enjoy the journey of discovery. It’s all yours and for you!
And that sums up the 3 truths to falling in love with yourself:
- Be honest
- Take one step at a time
- Enjoy the change!
Take your time and enjoy the change. The growing pains will be far less painful than staying in the same situation that you are in.
Sending you sisterly love,
As salamu aleikum,
Veronika al Mahdiyah xx
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