As salamu aleikum, beautiful!! I’m sure it doesn’t even need to be introduced here. Every single one of us could immediately name what’s their secret heartache and how much pain it has caused over the years. Maybe it’s the guilt of not feeling enough good of a wife, maybe you don’t feel that you found the secret to unlock the unlimited love in your husband’s heart, maybe you feel that you, after all those years, still have not deserved his respect… Whatever it may be, I know your heart races once you are in THAT situation where your biggest fears are uncovered and confirmed. There is no need for an example, because I know that you know ( 😉 ) how it feels.
‘So what’s your verdict, Mrs. Super Coach?’
I shall say, let it go.
You are not responsible for you husbands happiness, for his personal fulfillment and his stress.
You are there to be with him, but not to live a life for him. You failed?
So what? You are going to fail many times in the future, but that knowledge won’t prevent you from moving forwards. You will wake up every day knowing that something may go wrong, but more likely it’s going to be an amazing day (Screaming kids on a school run? Yeah, I know, it doesn’t get any better 😉 )
Free yourself from the fear, my dear sister, of not making someones life spectacular or special.
I’m sure you have gone through that journey in your marriage, where you learnt not to expect things, since your every, sometimes crazy simple, wish was not fulfilled or at least attended to. And it hurt.
And what you did next? You expanded, you learned how to tell straight what you needed and get it.
You don’t think your husband possesses the same straight talking ‘thing’? He does, but he chooses not to burden you.
So let him go. Let him travel his own journey, while you are there. Ready for a cup of tea or to just quietly listen.
Let him go and have his own journey. Let him go through it’s ups and downs, because you are not here to make him happy, to make him successful, to make him worry and stress free.
You are here to be with him. To share the journey. Through the ups and downs. Through victories, illnesses, achievements and losses.
You are here to be yourself. Free of guilt, because your job is to be happy and give your husband space to find his happiness too.
So let your guilt go free, because you are here to share the journey.
So let it go.
Till next time,
As salamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.
Veronika al Mahdiyah.
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