As salamu aleikum, beautiful 🙂 Do you find yourself doubting your role as a wife? Maybe sometimes thinking whether you should have got married at all? Breathe in. You are normal. Let’s talk today about how to enjoy being a wife 🙂
Many times we, girls, are told about how amazing it is going to be married and how important it is. How our lives will change. How we will have to be ‘good’ wives and we will have to take care of our husbands.
And I believed that. But, I must admit, I had never dreamed about my wedding day. I never thought I will marry at all. I thought that there is no one on earth to marry a wild child. And I thought that to dream about your wedding dress was weird. I mean, come on. I never dreamed of one. I never thought I will have to have one.
I grew up and was raised to be together. To have kids. To finish studies and to work, work, work. I was never told to be myself. I was never comfortable with whom I was.
And here, one day, three weeks after knowing my husband I said yes. No fancy shmancy stuff. Nothing, but pasta for dinner 🙂
I was a wife. A future mother, but I didn’t know how to be one.
I didn’t know how to make our relationship work.
I always thought that all the issues are arising, because I’m not self-sufficient independent woman (‘Dude, I was raised to be the next president, not a cleaner!’ Hello, upbringing, how is it going? :)).
Until later, I found out that the lack of respect was not because of the lack of achievements, but because of the lack of respect I have had for myself.
For all those moments when I didn’t stand up for myself, when I gave up even without trying, when I chose not to take on something, because I feared to be judged… I learned that the biggest gift I could give to myself is to stop being an option, stop being an ‘Yes’ person and live as if I DO MATTER.
Because I do. Because YOU do.
Today, I would like to finish the blog with a thought: ‘Your ability to enjoy being a wife is equal to your ability to enjoy being yourself’.
There is no magic trick. No shortcut. Only when you will enjoy company of your own thoughts, only then, you will finally be able to enjoy being a wife. Cause you are darn awesome and that dude is very lucky to have you.
Till next time,
Your coach and sister in Islam,
Veronika al Mahdiyah.